Marriage between Eastern and Oriental Orthodox

[Armenian Orthodox]

Hi,

I am not one to normally post in forums, but I have been running into some issues with my wedding ceremony planning. I am of Armenian decent and my fiance is of Serbian, both Orthodox. Both our families are very proud of our cultures and where we come from. I am of first generation and continue to speak, read and write Armenian. My fiance is second generation, but continues to speak, read and write in Serbian as well. Clearly, having both of our cultures represented during our wedding is important. One is not more important than the other, both are equal. Which leads me to my dilemma as to how to equally represent Oriental Orthodox and Eastern Orthodox during our ceremony.

My fiance's uncle is actually a Serbian Clergyman, which is how we first found out about our dilemma. After sitting around her living room with her family present, we started to discuss some of our plans for our wedding. After explaining our need for equality, he addressed the fact that a Serbian Clergyman is unable to serve with an Armenian Clergyman in a Serbian Orthodox Church. They will not perform a join ceremony due to a schism between Eastern and Oriental Orthodoxy. This now complicates things because it is important to me that Armenian traditions are present during this special ceremony. After listening to his reasoning, I came to find out that the main reason why there are differences in Eastern and Oriental are because of our misunderstandings during the Council of Chalcedon. Although, from my understanding, Armenia was unable to attend the council in 451 AD due to a war we were too busy fighting against the Persians in order to keep our faith alive.

This troubled me and so I contacted our Clergyman from NY to really get to the bottom of all of this and how we can make this work. He explained to me that this is indeed true, in that Eastern Orthodox Clergyman will not serve together where as Oriental Orthodox Clergyman are more open to the idea. Where it happens often that an Armenian priest will invite other priests who are able to say a prayer or read from the bible. With that being said, I understood that these are biased opinions, one siding with me the other with my fiance. So the reason why I have posted on the following website is to receive a non-biased opinion and some solutions, more importantly.

Another thing that makes this even more difficult is that we are looking to do a destination wedding, most likely in Montonegro. This being an Eastern Orthodox Christina country will most likely make this balance far more difficult. Please let me know how we can come to an agreement to keep a balance during our ceremony. Ultimately, we are both Christian Orthodox. Both of our cultures have experience atrocities and obstacles in order to keep the Christian faith alive. If baffles me and upsets me that we are have more issues finding a fair ground within the Christianity than if I were to marry outside of Christianity.

Thank you for your help and I look forward to some solutions.

AS

[Borrel]

I've heard of people in cases like this just have two ceremonies. It satisfies both sides of the isle, so to speak. Have you considered that? If your wedding hasn't happened yet, that is.